Goodbye and Good Riddance, 2019.

It has been about a year since I created this space for my words and thoughts. I look back at that broken hearted girl a year ago and remember how lost and desperate she was for answers. Physically and emotionally weak, searching for some sort of sign to smack her in the face with how to live. This year has been a year of transition and growth. Although not my favorite year to date (in fact, probably my LEAST favorite), I know I have grown exponentially as a woman. I do believe this year has been necessary in setting me up for years to come.

 

2019 broke me down to new lows…lows I never thought I would ever hit. I tried to find my self worth in men. I thought I needed a man to feel special. I lost the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, so I started looking for the next best man to bring me back to the temporary happiness the previous provided. What I didn’t quite grasp at the time was that I wouldn’t find my self worth in anyone other than myself. As the year continued, I had felt an overwhelming sense of loneliness and anger. Nothing I was doing made me feel any better. Everyone else in the world around me seemed to have everything figured out….why couldn’t I seem to do the same? I hit a low I almost didn’t come back from. That’s the moment I decided to change. 2019 grew me into the incredibly strong and beautiful woman I am today.

 

As I look back at the beginning of the year, I had no idea what was going on. I still am a little unsure of where God is leading me, but I do believe it is for my good. I started this blog in January 2019 as a way to cope with my recent breakup. I had so many thoughts and feelings and no way to really express them other than to spew them all out via the keyboard. This blog has turned into so much more than just a place to express my feelings. It has become a passion and a love for writing I didn’t realize I possessed. I never knew the gift I was given before I began sharing my experiences within this space.

 

With all of that being said, I’d like to take a moment to thank everyone who took the time to read my words. Without any of you, this space wouldn’t mean as much as it does now. Thank you to everyone who read and listened and provided feedback. This year broke me to my core. It tore me down to my lowest of lows. I’ve shared my stories, I’ve shared my pain, and I’ve shared my joy. The overwhelming support I’ve received has been incredibly humbling. I walk into 2020 knowing my worth. I will hold my head tall and remember that, if for nothing else, I have been given this gift that I intend to continue to share.

 

So, here’s to you, 2020: May it be filled with opportunities and joy to overcompensate for 2019’s mishaps. And to you, 2019: Goodbye and Good Riddance!